While it’s not exactly fun to see a recent hook-up out with another girl, if you find that hearing about your FWB’s late nights with someone else is affecting your own relationship with him or her or even affecting your self-esteem, it may mean you want something more than the casual label you currently have.
“During my sophomore year, I started hooking up with someone I had been friends with for a while,” says Anna, a senior at the University of Delaware.
“It made me feel like I was his last choice, and I finally decided that anyone, especially a friend, shouldn’t be making me feel that way.
I got really frustrated, and eventually we just went back to being friends.” If you were friends before you started hooking up and suddenly you only hear from him or her after 1 a.m, you’re being treated more like a booty call than a FWB.
For collegiettes looking for a more casual fling without wanting to feel like a booty call, a friends-with-benefits setup can feel like the perfect solution.
You can hang out during the day like you normally do and hook up occasionally without the stress of a committed relationship.
If hooking up becomes more important than the friendship in a way that feels uncomfortable to you, it may be time to stop and go back to being just friends.
A crucial part of making a FWB relationship work is ensuring that you can actually stay friends.
Because you’re hooking up with a friend and not someone you don’t know as well, you may keep hooking up with him or her long after you realize you’re not happy in the situation, which can potentially lead to the end of your friendship.“It was great for a few weeks until we started fighting and there was a lot of unwanted tension between us.It got so bad that we stopped speaking for a few months, so it definitely wasn’t worth going down that road.While it’s expected that your friendship will change as you move into the FWB stage, if hooking up is causing noticeable problems in your friendship that didn’t exist beforehand, it’s time to evaluate why that’s happening and if you should continue down the road you’re on.“I thought casually hooking up with my best friend would give me the best of both worlds,” says Ariana, a senior at Lehigh University.