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You don’t want to do anything that’s going to ruin your chances of dating someone.” She suggests the guy pay for the first month, or until you’ve established that you’re in a committed relationship.

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Based on her own dating history and her clients’ experiences, Tillman told Salon, “if he doesn’t offer to pay, it’s definitely a turnoff.” As she sees it, “It sets a guy up for success.Aside from whether men should hold the door for women, few seemingly frivolous issues have fanned the flames of anti-feminism as much as who should pay for dates between men and women.It’s a subject that seems to never die — see yesterday's Guardian feature on "Paying while dating" — because there are always a subset of men who insist that it’s absolutely unfair that as the world has gotten closer to gender equality, men are still expected to pick up the check.“Not that I can't leave if someone else pays, but if I'm paying then I'm the one flagging down the waiter and twisting around in my seat for my coat. But when someone else is paying then I'm surrendering my time in a way that says, ‘What's next.’” Men are aware of what this dynamic too.As New York-based tech entrepreneur Obinna Emenike, who always pays for his dates, told The Guardian, “If I think the date is going well, and you over-insist on splitting it then it will make me question myself.