They had filed for divorce several months prior but continued living in the same home until just weeks before we met. The problem with dating a recently separated guy are numerous. If you believe that it’s ok to date a married guy, then you can stop reading right here.Because if you’re morally and ethically ok with that, then you date really horrible men and you deserve the men you date. And when your guy cheats on you and makes your life hell, you deserve it. Ben also separated from his wife two years ago (yet another thing we have in common), but neither he nor his wife filed.
In my defense, he lied to me about their official separation date.
Seriously, if you meet a guy who has just split from his wife you really have to wonder about his emotional maturity and character. He has no business jumping into a relationship with you or anyone else and, if you proceed knowing full well his history, shame on you.
He is one damaged guy and why is he jumping back into another relationship? You are enabling him to continue hiding and ignoring and deflecting.
Even if that doesn’t happen, a divorce, no matter how civil, is nobody’s idea of a good time. So, yes, in a perfect world, people would conclude their previous relationships, paperwork and all, before entering into new ones.
Sure, they’ve been living separately; but the devil is in the details, and no one has sorted through those yet. But you’re not living in a perfect world; you’re living in Ben’s world.