Dating for people with illness

That way, if your secret does make a big difference, you wont have wasted too much of their time—or yours.

“Of course it can be painful, but if thats the case, its better to know before you get too involved,” Sussman says.

I wouldnt see a reason to keep it a secret, especially if were getting serious.” If youre worried that your health secret might be a deal-breaker, youll want to 'fess up by the fourth date, says Rachel A.

Sussman, LCSW, a New York City therapist and relationship expert.

Other events in your medical history, such as addictions, mental illness, past surgeries, and health scares, can easily remain a secret—but should they?

If you're considering telling your partner about a health secret, here are eight tips to help you spill the beans. Practice what to say Before you drop a bomb on a potential mate, rehearse your speech with a trusted friend or visit a therapist to talk it through, suggests Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison.

“I dont really bring it up, not when Im first dating people,” she says.

“But Ive had people ask and Im always honest with them.

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Dishonesty can ruin a potentially good relationship.” Jill*, the 33-year-old from New York City, is currently in a long-distance relationship. Be casual yet confident So exactly how does one reveal a secret without just blurting it out?Getting a second opinion can help you decide how much to say (and when and where to say it), and running through your script a few times can make you more comfortable sharing your story.“You dont want to overwhelm your partner but you want to be sure to give him or her all of the important facts,” Davis says.Though she takes medication to manage her condition, she still lives with residual symptoms: She has trouble sleeping for more than two hours at a time, and can't shake her cigarette habit—traits that she feels a date might question.“Its the smoking and lack of sleeping; its hard to share your life with someone when you need to explain further why you do these things,” she says.

Dating for people with illness