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Without even thinking about it, I’d roll my jeans halfway up my calves and get into the bathtub to pull him up.

One of the best parts about using Gmail is Gchat, the instant-messaging function that lets you chat with other Google users and still look like you're the most productive person in the room.Nearly four years later, I sometimes type his email address in the search box in my Gmail.Hundreds of results pop up, and I’ll pick a few at random to read. Me: yep it’s a buddhism thing I can break down Clark’s illness into one diagnosis (metastatic melanoma), one prognosis (between 4 and 14 months to live), three surgeries, three clinical trials, seven hospital stays, three doses of chemotherapy, and five weeks of hospice care.My eyes sting as I read a newspaper article describing the latest study to come out of a cancer conference, which involves a drug trial that Clark was too sick to participate in.I slink off to the bathroom with my head down, ignoring my friends at the bar, when I catch a glimpse of his obituary, which hangs on the back of a door at the Black Cat, the bar where we met.