Before now, the single men I wanted to date weren't interested in nubile twenty-somethings — at least not exclusively — and even in my mid-thirties competition from younger women didn't concern me.I had time, and if someone wanted to get up in my grill about having kids eventually, well, my mom had me when she was 38 and I turned out mostly okay. Summers, who is 54, is firmly in favor of skimming a few years off one's age, though always coming correct with current photos.There was the ex who brutally dumped me but wouldn't stop emailing me for months, whose presence at dorky work gatherings made me dizzy; the sociopathic film critic whose shoulder I virtually cried on; the go-nowhere first dates; and the great, wide swaths of time spent single, usually pining after some unavailable director or writer who'd relish my attention and nothing else. There were a few things that sent me into a panic about turning 40, but the biggest — looming larger than the golden ring of a book deal or a staff job or, like, finally going back to yoga — was what it meant for me to still be single and actively looking for a partner at that age. If you're not familiar with the exciting world of online dating, sites and apps let you set search parameters that range from location to body type to education and, yes, age range.Not so much even that I was single, but that I and what that implied. There are plenty of things I simply do not give a single solitary fuck about when it comes to what women my age are supposed to be doing. Just as there are movies on Netflix you might never stumble across in your bleary-eyed scrolling, there are plenty of people you might never see through some whim of programming code.
To wait on a man to send a fist message, invite you to a first date, follow-up after a first date, or even to propose a committed relationship are all classic damsel in distress scenarios: I need or want something and I need a man to fulfill this need. A jammed packed inbox doesn’t necessitate your ideal match will be within that bunch.
But now I'm encountering divorcees and mid-life crises and men who themselves lie about their ages and cheekily confess, "Haha, just hoping you'd be so charmed by the time you clicked that it wouldn't matter! Like me, she straddles the digital divide; we remember a time before DOS, but not a lot of dating without the accompanying click and beep of a modem.
"I'd call it a slow attrition of diminishing returns," Chelsea said about dating in NYC.
As a woman steps outside of the princess role and takes on throne of a queen, she realizes how magnificent her life will become, which includes her experiences with online dating.
This was actually a piece of advice given to me by a friend a couple of years ago.