If you have a history of being a “player” and you’re starting a new dating relationship and genuinely want to develop it further, your past could come back to haunt you if you’re not up front and honest with your new love interest.
It can be a small world, and the last thing you want is to run into a scorned “ex” when you’re out on the town with your new boyfriend.
I’d say that there are definitely some bad apples out there, but that EVERY man is a player until he finds the woman with whom he wants to stop playing. Most likely, it’s going to be the one who is confident enough in herself and her judgment to not have to administer “tests” to her boyfriend, no matter how fearful you are about wasting your time.
So, to come full circle, let’s give you something you can take away from this article – apart from the concept of being cool and patient and letting the man reveal himself over time.
I was recently interviewed by freelance writer Caroline Stanley from for a cover story she was writing about dating “player-types”.
This article includes the content that I contributed for her research into this topic.
Once he’s gotten what he wants, he tends to taper off his contact with the person or completely disappears with no word.
Sometimes he’s purely after sex; other times it’s about conquest (the thrill of the hunt, and once he’s been validated that he’s desired, he withdraws). The reasons are very individualized and varied, but more commonly it could be that they have intimacy issues and have difficulties with attachment and commitment, are narcissistic and selfish, or have control issues.
And then make sure that you live with integrity, ensuring that your words and actions match and that you’re truly living your new values.Make sure you always keep your non-negotiable/deal-breaker needs in the forefront of your mind and screen your dating partner for goodness-of-fit.The more experiences you share with him, the more able you will be to test consistency of his behavior and character. “I was very happy with the experience of working with Brian.”) If it sounds like I’m teasing you, Ashley, well, I am.Because, no matter how important such “tests” are (and they are), and how much women want them (a lot), they all pale in comparison to the one test that I can offer that’s close to foolproof. If your biggest concern is that everyone puts on his best face for a long time, then the ONLY thing you can do is sit back and observe him.