Stop all of these outside relationships and bring all your emotional and sexual energy home to your spouse, and you, too, will change your marriage immediately.EXCLUSIVITY MAKES SENSE The first step in developing a happy marriage is to close our peripheral vision to others so that we can be fully focused on our mate.Yet we forget the emotional harm of relating to someone outside the marriage when that same energy can be used to relate to our own spouse.Marriage is about relating to a member of the opposite sex with an intimacy felt with no other.We wouldn't dream of spending large amounts of time alone with another child.
Recently, there was an unforgettable wedding in my community.When a spouse places his or her primary emotional needs in the hands of someone outside the marriage, it breaks the bond of marriage just as adultery does. Consider your own personal relationships: If you're doing any of these things, you're being emotionally unfaithful to your spouse. If you're spending it with coworkers or outside the home and then getting home and feeling too tired to spend any more on your spouse, that's emotional infidelity.You're effectively relocating vital marital energy into the hands of others. Even if you never touch this other person, you have still used that person to relate to, and in doing so, you relate away from your spouse. But I've spent years helping couples pool their energies toward each other, and it has changed their marriage immediately.Remember what it is you've always wanted from your marriage, and start considering the large, determined commitment that is absolutely necessary to creating a happy marriage.Most of us won't fall in love in cyber space, yet we find it okay to share a different kind of space with friends of the opposite sex.