In the great chain of credibility, being told something is the least believable.
Having a second party tell vouch for you is more believable, but being able to On the other hand, if your friend tells you about the incredibly lavish party they went to at Nerd Love Manor (aka: the Gatsby Gambit) last weekend, you’re more inclined to believe that yes, I am a millionaire with a mansion and a yacht.
Similarly, we try to divine as much of that information as possible from the dating profile photo and username even before we start in on the dating profile.
This is why you have to take care to understand exactly what your profile is saying to the women who view it.
All of this subconscious presentation and filtering is lost in online dating; all we have are our words and our photos, so we have to consider how to craft as attractive a snapshot of ourselves as possible.
The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.
Match.com, on the other hand, leans towards more conventional relationships while e Harmony is specifically marketed towards (straight) people who are looking to get married ASAP while Plenty of Fish is the dating equivalent of a long weekend in Innsmouth.
You also have to consider where and how to present your best self.
The lack of non-verbal cues that attract us to others don’t carry across in online dating and, as a result, you’ll occasionally come across people who seem great on paper but who don’t turn you on in person.
We can get as righteous as we’d like about “getting to know somebody’s soul” or the purity of meeting people without our hangups about looks, but without that physical component, it’s impossible to guarantee that you’re going to be attracted to somebody in person.