A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?A lot of you are self-conscious about the fact that you’re on a dating site.But obviously if she’s on the site too, you’re both in the same boat.Aiming to short-circuit this cycle, "e-flirt expert" Laurie Davis' hyperprescriptive 1.Play the Field"It's important to be in more than one community," Davis says.By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.
According to Slater, it's one of the few business models in which clients' failures are the company's win—the longer we seek, the more money they make.
By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.
GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.
’” — Kristen, 27 The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.
Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory.