Pattern of dating unavailable men

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They’ll want to hear your voice and arrange your next date – and they’ll make the effort to be available.3.

All your plans are made last minute Saturday night, and you’re waiting by the phone for them to make good on those ‘let’s do something this weekend’ plans. Or you’ve got a friend’s birthday, or a wedding and you’re nervous about asking them to be your plus one as, every time you try and plan these things, you're made to feel ‘needy.’ If this sounds familiar, it's probably time for warning bells.

My sorority sister used to say, “If you always do what you always done, you’ll always get what you already got.” So, what was I doing that constantly attracted me to men who were not a good fit for me? Here’s what I discovered: The tape that continued to play in my mind said, “I am not able to attract a man with a steady, regular job who’ll make time for me, and is emotionally available.” So, I constantly attracted men who were emotionally damaged, who cheated on and ignored me.

They were hurt and I could treat them better than their previous lover because, let’s face it, I’m better than everyone. It never occurred to me that “he” might have been just a jerk to begin with.More harsh truth: if someone is truly interested in being your partner, they won’t leave you hanging until the last minute or make you feel guilty for wanting to plan time with them.The fact is, if you are a priority on someone’s emotional radar, you’ll be a priority in their schedule. Everything is on their terms Another classic sign of an emotionally unavailable person is that any relationship is always on their terms.While it’s perfectly normal to have had past relationships that affect how you approach new love, all too often the emotionally unavailable man or woman will proudly wear their past like a type of intimacy-repelling armour that prevents anyone getting closer – even those they’ve been seeing for a while.Without this closeness and vulnerability, there can be no emotional intimacy – which means your relationship will have trouble becoming anything other than casual.