What’s so bad about saying that we like and love ourselves?Or, what’s so bad about saying that we would like to get to know ourselves and evolve our relationship to one that’s coming from a place of healthier self-esteem and personal security? Isn’t this better than looking for romantic partners and other people in our lives, to fill voids or even parent us?When we say, “I like and accept myself” or similar, we’re not saying that we’re narcissists or aspiring to be; that would be to have a very shallow relationship that’s reliant on collecting “supply” and crushing others so that we can big ourselves up.That would mean doing things with brute force and trickery.
if the date sucks and you want to leave, don't say something like "oh, my pager's going off.
We lose our mojo with the self-work if it doesn’t generate instant or fast results and go back to repeating what we already know doesn’t work while secretly accepting failure. Really, the only people who would truly object to us doing this, are those who feel threatened by the change because they see it as questioning world view, as well as those who seek to benefit from us staying in a less than role.
Having a healthier relationship with ourselves means our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health will reap the benefit plus we come at our relationships from a place of love, care, trust and respect.
It may be embedded in us as a default reaction to fear thinking decently of ourselves or thinking independently in case we cause embarrassment and problems.
Even though we’re grown-ups and know that the teachings are wrong, we remain loyal to the pattern out of fear of betraying and upsetting the proverbial applecart. Sometimes this happens because the person is trying to squash us because they then get to feel big or certainly less inadequate, but often, they think that they’re teaching us protective life lessons designed to spare us from a bigger pain that they imagine for us.