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Then I realized there was a much more useful way of thinking about the role of phone communication.

What kinds of phone etiquette are strategically most likely to lead to success?

But when a person always makes us wait two hours, we ask WTF?

I’ve been wanting to write a post on phone etiquette in dating for a while.

So we’re very careful to avoid doing that, but we often dial it down so much that we wind up coming across as not very interested.

We figure that by waiting a bit we will seem busy, popular, independent.

Charming people focus on others with great interest and convey a warm, friendly demeanor.

In contrast, having a conversation with someone who constantly glances around or keeps saying “just a sec” as they turn away is offensive. Nothing is more manipulated in phone use than the decision about how long to wait before answering a text.