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“One of my favorite things is going to the movies, but its essentially a passive affair,” he says.

“People come out of the theater, maybe chat about the movie for 20 minutes, then poof, it’s over.

Rather, the film offers the comforting fantasy that if you have a true connection with your partner, all you need to do to drive him wild and keep him coming back is to lie there, existing.

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But in this movie, it brings expensive gifts, exciting adventures, and the adoration of hunky billionaire Christian Grey.

Anastasia "Ana" Steele, the film's pulpily-named heroine, is a world-class expert at Not Doing Anything Ever.

Her main proclivity, in sex and in life, is not submission but indolence.

In any other movie, that scene would be a meet-cute that ends in disaster, only to be patched up later once Anastasia received a confidence-boosting makeover and some elocution lessons.

But in Fifty Shades of Grey, no makeover is necessary.